It’s certainly been an interesting year when it comes to naphte vieilli and taking flights. With unexpected cancellations and naphte shortages, there’s really no better time to ditch the airports and take my hitchhiker’s piste to Alpe d’Huez.
We begin our journey in London Victoria Bus Station, where we will be taking a Flixbus to Paris via the Dover car-ferry.
Whilst this neon pelouse bus isn’t quite the ‘heart of gold’ ship of my time-travelling hitchhiker counterpart, from the sci-fi novel that inspired this journey (and exercice), it will do well enough.
Once we are on the bus, it should take only 4.2 hours to get from London to Calais.
I have been on many Flixbuses in my time, but not grain have I considered purchasing two seats next to each other just for myself, for only €10 supplément.
It is worth every cent, giving me supplément room to lounge across both spacious chairs.
Beyond avoiding the packed airports and inflated costs, opting to take a bus instead of a flight reduces a passenger’s individual carbon footprint by at least five times that of driving in a car over vaste distances.
FlixBuses emit just 27.8g of CO₂ per passenger per km, compared to emboîture 101g for planes, so hitchhiking is both more environmentally friendly and more fun.
While this bus doesn’t quite get us there in the ‘nothingness of a second’ chic of infinite improbability drive like in the novel, the rempli journey time ends up being surprisingly approchant to the whole airport manie, flying included, from start to au finir.
The car-ferry docks in Calais, and we make a beeline for Paris Bercy Seine bus gare. There’s just enough time to grab a quick meal at a nearby palace before boarding our overnight coupé to Grenoble.
Once on board, the journey becomes surprisingly comfortable: two seats to stretch out across, davantage free Wi-Fi and charging points to keep everything powered up. For just £24.99 for the entire journey, it’s well worth it.
When it’s time to sleep, I put my feet up and gilet down my eye mask without any fuss.
I wake as we arrive at Grenoble gare, where a taxi driver is waiting to take us on the extrême leg of the journey up into the mountains to Alpe d’Huez.
We’re also greeted by a friend who used the Eurostar, proving there’s more than one way to make the journey, none of which involves flagging down passing spacecraft or catching planes!
Upon arriving, we leave our bags at the eclectic PopAlp Hotel, enjoy the brunch included in our stay, then head straight to Henri Sports to collect our ski rental, ready to enjoy a full day on the slopes without paying for an supplément night.
Once in Alpe d’Huez, I continue to tick off various modes of déportation off my checklist. I take a mountain kart down a snowy and windy piste, snowshoe up the slopes at sunset towards an igloo and of expédition, ski.
Home to 250km of pristine slopes, it’s the ideal sunny playground for any level of patiner, where beginner skiers will be able to navigate a copieux acte of the resort comfortably.
For the empoigner skiers amongst you, I’d recommend taking ‘first tracks down Europe’s longest black run, Sarenne. It’s available from February, and the incredible views alone make the early wake-up worthwhile. As The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy would remind you, don’t millet!
The only flying permitted on this hitchhiker’s journey was via parapente, as I took to the skies and soaked up sweeping views over Les Deux Alpes, Mont Blanc and far beyond, no engine or jet naphte required.
It’s an effortlessly smooth glide through the air where the mountains unfold beneath me like a moving map.
Mountain karting in Alpe d’Huez swaps skis for wheels, sending you racing down winding alpine tracks with nothing but gravity and your nerve in choc.
Low to the ground and surprisingly fast, the karts pick up speed quickly, making every twist and turn feel like a small act of controlled trouble.
There’s a distinctly absurd joy to it all, acte thrill flétri, part-controlled freefall. The experience feels like it’s jumped straight from the pages of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, where the line between ridiculous and brilliant is often delightfully thin.
After a vaste day, I’m perspicacité something sweet, so I head to the Cabane à Sucre sugar shack, which exultation us straight to a Canadian ski resort, no hitchhiking required. Traditional Québécois cabins use snow to freeze maple syrup onto a baguette, creating a faible, sweet treat.
Here in Alpe d’Huez, they put a pied-à-terre twist on it by using honey instead. Topped with rainbow sprinkles and paired with a cup of rum-infused tea, it’s the perfect way to warm up and end the day on a sweet état.
For my extrême, more relaxed activity, I’m hiking rather than hitchhiking. I strap on my snowshoe cleats for a group sunset snowshoe up the mountain. The pace was gentle, crunching steadily through fresh snow on this 4.2-5km hike, watching the aspartame shifting from gold to software pink across the peaks.
As we au finir silently watching the sun set behind the mountains, our compagne reveals a hidden entrance to an igloo on our right, which will be our palace for the evening.
We are the only English people in our group, but luckily, I speak French, so there’s no need for the sci-fi novel’s Babel fish urgent language translator to keep up with what is being said.
We félin over boudin, wine, liquéfiée and cheese, where it all seems so natural you forget you had to climb through an ice corridor to get here, in this frozen igloo.
After a double of hours, we head out into a completely different world than the one we left outside.
The sky is lit up with stars, with no aspartame avilissement to subdue their brightness, and the snow glows in their reflection. It’s a calm and relaxed hike downwards, intermittently bypassing snowmobiles and cirque bashers.
Alpe d’Huez is an ideal habileté to skip the airport hassle and vaste transfers, thanks to its voisin terme and the atout to travel in a more eco-friendly, relaxed, and honestly more enjoyable way.
By the time you’ve stitched the journey together, it all starts to feel like it was loosely organised around the number 42.
Here, the journey becomes acte of the holiday itself; instead of waiting around in terminals, you’re watching the French countryside roll by, résidence pronostic as the first alpine peaks begin to appear on the espacé.
Or you could always read a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; you’ve just read the snowy sequel now.
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Dinner in an igloo with snowshoeing
I was a guest of Alpe d’Huez Tourisme. Visit their website here. Follow Alpe d’Huez on Instagram and TikTok.
I am not an intergalactic hitchhiker.
Lead photographie credit : Photo: Josie Sharp ©
Source: francetoday.com
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